My favorite time of day begins each morning at around 7am.
It is still mostly dark outside. The lines between the vertical blinds are still filled with a deep blue.. just light enough only to know that it is blue...and that the sun will soon be making it's appearance..but still dark. Ruby starts to squirm. She finds her fists to suck..only to find that they are not providing the nourishment she wants... she settles quickly, but not for long. I hear her sucking on those little hands again. She isn't one to make a lot of noise at this time in the morning...I know once she starts moving her legs and sucking on her hands that she is ready to nurse.
I pick her up from her bassinet that is attached to the side of my bed. (I love that she is only inches away from me at night. I can pick up on her cues before she gets upset and it leads to a quieter and more peaceful night.) She is still waking up, but when I put her to my breast, she knows exactly what she wants. Her little fingers flex and move along my breast and the neckline of my shirt. Sometimes she opens her eyes for a few moments to look at mine before they close again, heavy and sleepy.
Her sucks slow down. Her hands rest, the neckline of my shirt in her tiny grasp. She comes off me only to nestle her cheek right where her lips and nose just were. That sweet, peaceful sleeping babe feeling so comfortable and safe in my arms.
Light blue shines through the blinds.
Noor is doing is morning scripture study on the couch.
Our room is still.
I scoot into the center of the bed and move the comforter out of the way. I lay my sweet Ruby next to me. I am on my side, my right arm around the top of her, my nose touching the hair that begins just above her forehead...and I breathe. I watch her little body rise and fall with each perfect breath. I smell her dark hair, sweet and full of that baby smell. I feel her soft little hands...each one of her tiny fingernails. I remember what those hands were like only 8 weeks ago...so wrinkled and pink. They are smoother now...and pale. She has my skin. I hear the silence broken with each barely audible breath she exhales. I marvel at her perfection. What a true testimony she is to the power of creation...to the power of our Creator. I marvel at the love that I have for her..the love that was so instantaneous..that was so strong from the day she was born, that I cried when I looked at her. I marvel that Heavenly Father loves me with and even more perfect and eternal love than what I feel for my sweet Ruby....
This is my favorite part of each and every day. How blessed I am to be her mom.
The light outside is white. Noor walks in. A kiss for me. A kiss for Ruby. A farewell until later. All is quiet and the house is still.
I close my eyes.... and I breathe.